Well, that is how it felt. This one gesture felt like an act of love. Perhaps too strongly put as I would dare not think he loves me, but certainly an act of kindness. Possibly one of the most profound acts of kindness lavished on me. By anyone.
I had had an APPALLING day. I was in the worst state imaginable. A state of mind I had very rarely felt (mercifully) since my period of depression during 2006/2007. So low had I gotten that I had even contemplated not doing an art piece that day. But I thought, “No. It’s my one outlet and I need it today more than ever.” And so I decided on Spaceface. I realised as I was pondering on what lyric to highlight that day, that I hadn’t picked ANYTHING from the Cry album up til that point. Spaceface was the obvious choice for me. It is my “happy” song. The song that always lifts me. “Baby loves a levitation”. Indeed she does.
I must have given off a certain vibe…or perhaps it was sheer coincidence (but something tells me it wasn’t. Call it intuition…an inkling) but very soon after I posted the piece on the visitor wall, Jim shared it on the main wall, with his words about working with Gordy Goudie (I must say, that is a FABULOUSLY “showbiz” name!). Coincidence it MAY have been, but I like to think it was a symbolic gesture on his half. A gesture that said “I know, and it’s OK”.
God help me, I’m crying again now just relaying it.
It really was the most beautiful thing he could have done for me that day. Friends alerted me to the post on the main SMO wall. I cried and cried. I’d compose myself, then think on what he’d done and cry all over again. How appropriate that Spaceface be on an album called Cry, because that is EXACTLY what I was doing…in bucketloads!
It took me two hours to compose myself fully to go and see the post. And even then, I couldn’t bring myself to like it. See, I had used my own image in the piece (twice, actually)…and that fact alone stopped me from liking the post. If any fan had twigged that I had used my own image in it, then, well…I was ready for the stick. But none came…phew! Not even from Mr “Cut N Paste” critic! (That’s what someone said of my Hunter And The Hunted piece. Well, screw you!)
The following day, after a good sleep and a good ponder, I felt on a slightly more even keel. I then considered liking the post. I felt rude to Jim for not doing so, but I hope he understands why. If he ever sees my sorry excuse for a Simple Minds blog, I hope he gets why I couldn’t like it. And I need to extend yet ANOTHER thank you to him for doing what he did that day…just a few short days ago. If you ever see this, Jim, you wonderful, kind man…thank you! It meant so very, very much to me.